Recipe: Drunk Mussels (White Wine Cream Sauce)

This dish right here is so good that you will eat it then want to become a better person in life. The white wine cream sauce will tickle your palate and it basically turns the mussel into a garnish. The recipe itself is simple all you need is:

•     2 pounds of mussels
•     2 table spoons of butter
•      4 cloves of garlic (make sure its minced)
•     ½ teaspoon red pepper flakes
•     1 cup of fresh parsley
•     White wine

Now before I begin let me stress that when buying cooking wine watch out for the white wine vinaigrette. I made the mistake of buying this nasty shit thinking it was white wine but it ended up being wine flavored vinegar and it tasted like diesel fuel.

Take your mussels and put them in a sink. Each mussel has a “beard” that needs to be removed. This little stringy attachment hangs off the shell. Rip them out and when they start screaming whisper “it will all be over soon.”

Take a stockpot, preferably a massive one and melt your butter over medium heat. Toss that garlic in and watch it simmer for 30 seconds. Throw in your red pepper flakes and stir for a minute.

Add a bit of wine and taste, then add as much you want till it tastes good (well no shit). Bring the sauce to a boil and then throw in those mussels.

Stir them around for a bit then put on the cover. Go hug a loved one and sing your national anthem then come back and check the pot. If the clams are cooked their shell will naturally open. Any closed shells means that it’s not ready to eat.

Chop and stir in the parsley and then serve in a bowl with the broth pooled in it. If you feelin’ fancy, you can grill some foccacia bread and dip it in.

If you are cooking for a date impress her with this savory dish, she will think you’re a professional cook and mussels are also an aphrodisiac (thank me later).